Part 4. I guess I'll post part 5 soon. =). this might be a bit substandard. dunno.

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Monday mornings. The bane of the average student, the herald of dark days and bright nights spent under a table lamp. Monday. The worst day of the week. Monday. The coming of the storm, the passing of the weekend. And I enjoyed every single moment I spent with Cate over it.

Thus, I was obviously none too pleased at being late to school on Monday. Especially since I should have been copying homework, which was rather carelessly overlooked (oh there was homework? I forgot.) It wasn’t really my fault either. The bus driver insisted on stopping at every stop, even if there was obviously no one there. The sheer annoyance factor nearly gave me apoplectic fits.

I wasn’t even particularly surprised when Dragon Lady, the discipline mistress, accosted me despite my best efforts to be really sneaky. After all, it was Monday. Bad things happened.

Breathing a sign of resignation, I fought the urge to fill in “bloody bus driver” in the reason section of the latecomers’ slip as I dutifully bowed to the draconian measures of the administration. That was when I caught sight of Cate. I had resisted any thought of fate up till now, but this being entirely coincidence was unbelievable.

I moved over to say hi, but before I could do anything she just handed in her slip and started walking off. I called out her name as loud as I dared, but alas, she continued moving, without so much as a backward glance.

It was then I realized she was probably behind me in the line all along.

Late, and now this.

Bad things happened on Mondays, all right.
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It’s nothing. Nothing.

I kept telling myself that as I was making my excuses for not handing up my tutorials. By now it didn’t require any thought. I rolled a mental dice and just provided the corresponding excuse. Today it happened to be “I forgot.”

I didn’t even really hear what CS Oei was saying. All I heard was some “blah blah make sure blah hand blah blah tommorow blah blah or else blah blah.” She eventually gave up flogging the dead horse that was me and moved on to the lesson proper, leaving a very confused Frank mumbling “ I forgot” to no one in particular.

It didn’t get any better during the rest of the lesson either. I vaguely recalled answering “cow’s birthday” to some question on molecular bonding. After that, even Oei left me alone.

It’s nothing. Just a figment of your imagination, I told myself. Overreacting. Paranoid. Nothing’s wrong.

I crossed my fingers really hard and started praying to everyone and no one that that was true. I wished I had a gazillion bazillion bucks too, but as I was still living in a hovel and eating instant noodles, somehow even I felt my prayer lacked conviction.

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If there was one thing redeeming about Mondays, it was that I had a common recess period with Cate. Considering how well my Monday was going, though, I somehow didn’t think that recess would turn out as well as I thought.

Thus, I really wasn’t too surprised when I ended up eating my sad bowl of noodles alone. What could mere mortals such as I do to resist the mandate of heaven? Even so, I really couldn’t continue masticating the same soggy scrap of char siew for ten minutes. I never really liked it much to begin with, and even lobster salad would have tasted like elephant dung at that point.

A minute and ten sighs later, my illusions of salvaging this wreck of a Monday dissipated like water in the Sahara. I was hanging my head in frustration and started dragging my sorry feet out of the canteen when Cate appeared out of nowhere. For a moment my hopes were rekindled. I tried a tentative wave in her direction.

She gave me a glance, and almost started waving back, but then, as if some invisible force was restraining her, stopped abruptly, turned on her heel, and sprinted(nearly) in the other direction.

And then even the Sahara desert evaporated.

I was about ready to immolate myself in some gruesome fashion when I felt a hand on my shoulder. A sign?

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“Aiyah, Frank, women are all trouble la!” Jake, always the cynical one, was saying.

“Not really. They’re quite ok what!” Mack shot back.

“That’s cos you’re one of them too!”

I would have exchanged a high five with Jake, as was customary in the Mack-whack sessions as we liked to call them, but I was really in no proper condition to enjoy such worldly pursuits.

“Honestly man. What’s so good about them anyway? Look at that Harry. Everytime we go laze around he’s off with his girlfriend. He doesn’t know what he’s missing man,” Jake was going on. “And speaking of man, Manny is like a slave to that dominatrix of his. Gosh. Doesn’t it get tiring carrying shopping bags every weekend?”

“That’s ok! I love shopping,” Mack was practically painting a bullseye on his head.

“ That’s cos you’re part of the sisterhood.”

Again, no high five.

“Trust me lah, you’ll be better off without them. Free and easy man. Do you really want to carry shopping bags or spend half your life in some random clothing shop? Forget it lah. Anyway we can have more fun together as guys right? Can curse and swear as much as I like. Can drink, can snore can do anything what.”

That sounded very tempting. Right?

Right?

Who was I trying to kid anyway? I was doomed from that day I saw her at the bus stop.

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Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. 4 days and nothing had changed. The sun still shone, the sky was still blue(actually, grey) and Cate was still determinedly avoiding me.

Needless to say, I was up to my ears in depression. Every attempt I made at rudimentary contact was somehow deflected or rebuffed. It was as if a wall had been raised to block out her presence from my life. It probably sounds very hackneyed, but Cate was the sun and stars to me, and I was shrivelling away like a very withered flower.

Yet I didn’t really notice that it was taking a toll on me. Most of the time, I didn’t notice anything. But when CS Oei suddenly asked me what was wrong with me in class, I knew something was really really wrong with me.

It was then I realized something so obvious I was amazed that I didn’t think of it earlier.

I needed Cate like I needed the sunrise and the sunset, like I needed breath and life and joy, like I needed nothing else in the world but her.

Desperately.
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Saturday evening. And I still had no answers, no clues. Just a sense of despair and hopelessness, even a certain amount of anger and resentment. But it all came down to naught. What did anything I feel matter if she wasn’t around for me to share it with?

I suddenly decided I needed to visit the tree. The tree where I used to sit, everyday, just thinking and breathing and letting my mind carry me wherever it wanted to go. And when Cate came into my life just a short time ago, the tree where we enjoyed priceless moments together, chatting the day away. Would that I was there under happier circumstances.

It wasn’t a particularly large tree, nor was it particularly pleasant looking. It was just a normal tree, just like I was a normal person. Maybe that’s why I always liked it so much. It was so nondescript that it had an almost sentient humility and personality to it. It had already outlived me. My earliest memories of it were of a time where I didn’t know even my name. In a way, it was like another mother to me, watching me grow and listening to my thoughts.

It was still light when I took my seat beneath the shady boughs and let my mind wander. And yet it did not provide me the comfort I sought. And yet, I was content to bury my head in my arms and just breathe cool evening air,

And then, there was a familiar tap on my shoulder, somewhat more hesitant than normal.
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