Hey guys and girls,

It’s been a long time since I updated huh. Well it’s been a busy week. Managed to get about 6 a day at most and I feel totally zombified. Even now I feel lazy and tired, to the point where some part of me says forget blogging and go to bed. Well obviously that part of me lost the argument cos here I am typing my entry in and desperately trying to keep awake. I fell asleep at my com the other day, and when I woke I didn’t realize half an hour had elapsed and all my icq windows were flashing furiously. One of the failings of online communication. I’ll never fall asleep while talking to people in real life cos neither me nor my correspondent has the luxury of two minutes to type out our replies. Feel mortified that I did it!! Slapped myself really hard.

Hmm lets do a week in review. Monday. Hmm I cant really remember much happening on Monday. Oh yeah. Stupid Alec was trying to convince me to pon Chinese to go draft. My better sense took control and I resisted the barrage of song3 yong3- ing. Or coercion or temptation. Though what he says usually doesn’t sound very musical to mine ears =P. Was kinda amusing cos I finished half and hour early and went bumming anyway. And on Tuesday the same thing happened. Except counsellors Yong Huat and Yu Hui somehow managed to keep the infernal forces of Alec at bay. And so we didn’t end up drafting. Haha. If I remember correctly I went home all alone. Sigh. I hate doing that.
Wednesday was quite nice. Except for project work. Oh and that talk by the super overachiever Ben Tan guy. Nearly fell asleep cos he was busy talking about his experiences. But somehow managed to rein myself in cos I nearly got slapped with CS the last time I teetered on slumber. Went drafting with Lec Jik and Ryan. Ended up 3rd. Got crap rares again. Thursday was a little better. We finished early cos of the half day thing. But Ooi Ah Guat(for the uninformed, she’s my chem. tutor) made us stay back for extra chem remedial. Sigh. Went to draft with kiat doug and alec. Managed to win this one cause I packed about 30 points worth of burn. So I just had to deal 10 or so before all the burn killed the opposition. Yeah. Good times. Anyway the best match was Kiat vs Alec. Somehow the Vexing arcanix won him the game. What’s vexing arcanix? Ermm don bother u either know or u don’t.

By the way, I found this very interesting quote on a magic card, nonetheless. “ Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight EVERYTHING with fire”. Was laughing all the way home when I read it. Still find it pretty amusing!

Which brings us to Friday. Today. The long day which I wasn’t looking forward to at all. I hate long days. Esp Friday. Friday is rubbish. 5 periods of physics. Have I ever mentioned how much I detest physics??? Sigh I wish I did what fei fei did and just took chem bio or something. But anyway I’m stuck so it’s useless saying anything. Happily enough Chen didn’t come so I didn’t have to skip recess to attend remedial. And tutorial was a free period. Hooray. Then had PE again. Its kinda fun having Friday afternoon PE cos I get to go with Alec and Weili, which makes it feel like old times again. After school went to serene for the Third time this week. Flopped cards. Till around 8. Then I went home and here I am typing this out.

Hmm this week on the whole was a lot better than last week. I no longer felt so isolated in class. No its not cos I suddenly got on better with everyone. More like I ceased to care what people thought and I ceased to care about them. Not like they give a damn what happens to me. Thinking about it, none of them have ever done ANYTHING for me. I’m a little worried now… think my alignment might have slipped… I mean I’m scaring myself. I’m starting to be a lot more hard hearted and aloof. Somehow I ceased to worry and care. Good in the sense I’m not really bothered about the bad stuff anymore. The bad part is I can’t really appreciate anything anymore. Or at least not this week. Good? Bad? The bad news is I don’t really care anymore. Ok actually I do. But it takes a bit more effort than it used to. Quite a bit more.

People say I’m nuts. Have a screw loose. Gone bonkers. I’d have to agree there. Sometimes I amaze myself by doing ultra stupid things or having ultra stupid whims and fancies. Guess I’m whimsical to a fault. Get very logical and ruthless sometimes, utterly senseless and emotional at others. Ah please indulge my whims and cravings. Not something that I can really control…Jeez I’m starting to amuse myself even. I was just telling Mike about how therapeutic it is to sing the teletubbies song to yourself at full volume. And telling Jik how fun it is to win games by smashing your opponent with a bunch of 5/5 cute furry trampling squirrels. =).

On Thursday I was sitting around with Alec before going to Serene. Then we saw her. Then there was this little remark about “sometimes she’s nice and sometimes she’s not so nice”. For some reason it struck me hard. Ok I wasn’t devastated or anything but the statement was pretty close to the mark. Too true. Sometimes she’s such a nice and sweet person. Then the next moment she becomes so aloof and quiet. So distant… sometimes I feel like don’t even know her. Funny how I can know someone for so long but still get utterly bewildered by what they do sometimes. Sigh. And Mak’s entry the other day about wondering which part of a certain person attract you was food for thought I guess. Nope no expose for u guys here. I certainly don’t think she’s perfect, but who is? I don’t need and don’t want anyone to be perfect. I’d have trouble suspending disbelief if I do manage to find a perfect person. Anyway I took a walk with Alec soon after that and I came to a realization why you guys haven exactly managed to convinced me to give up. Cos everything you thought of, I’ve resolved within myself long before. So I understand the odds and don’t care anyway. That’s stubborn, that’s obstinate.

That’s me.

You’re the first light of the day come again….