Hey guys and girls,

Its been a long week, one with many highs and lows, but as usual more lows than highs, it seems. Little by little, the routine of school continues its conquest of my life. Time is now very short. Not only is my homework and projects etc etc piling up like Mount Doom, my siblings’ homework and projects are too. Which means the com is now a bone with three helpless dogs pulling it in three different directions. Old horrors like Project Work and CIP have suddenly surfaced from the ground like burrowed zerglings.

Anyway tonight I’m quite free. I decided to stop trying to mug like a dgcow to salvage my dismal abysmal rotten hopeless grades. At least for tonight. Of course, there’s still listening comprehension to look forward to. *sardonic laugh*. Hopefully it will go better than my oral. Ok lets start recounting. *concentrate*.

Tuesday. If memory serves me right, it was the day of the orals. I did terribly for it. I couldn’t remember how to say ramp in Chinese. And the question was how to improve facilities for the disabled people. It didn’t help that the two examiners were looking in every direction except mine and were generally silent stone sentinels guarding their marks sheet. How strange. This is the first time I actually believe I might not pass orals because I didn’t crap and smoke enough.

Wednesday. Was pleasantly surprised to find that it was already Wednesday. Was not pleasantly surprised to discover I had a mammothload of work to do. Already sputtering on poor sleep. You just cant get enough rest if you wake up thrice a night. Anyway if memory serves, it was the one day where I could just slack around in class without fear of repercussions. OK. That went well at first. Then came the stupid talk with some chief of the LTA or something. By this time lethargy had caught up with me and every waking moment was a call to the bed. Basically, was quite cynical about what the guy had to say anyway. He didn’t actually say much, basically reiterating what the PM said before already. And basically I don’t think anything he’s saying makes much sense. So after a titanic 30 minute struggle, I manage to fall asleep. Astonishingly, two minutes later, the stupid teacher (the one who keeps going on about being polite to e guest) manages to CATCH ME! The hell! The first time I sleep in a talk and I get caught? The hell. Almost get sent to do CS. Somehow manage to worm my way out of it. I’m getting quite sick and tired of the MOE sending people to talk to us. It’s obvious that most people are disinterested in what the people have to say. And they’re not here to impart some amazing new revelations to enlighten us on the miraculous workings of the government. They’re here to spread the ideas the government had 2 months ago and want us to have now. The guy(I cant even remember his name) said nothing. He basically went in circles and gave defensive evasive roundabout answers anyway. What’s the point of talking when no one’s listening? Anyway went to draft with Lec Jik and Ryan. Quite ok draft. Somehow manage to lose 2-0 to alec. But I won the other two matches so my overall score wasn’t too poor. Went home. Worked.

Thursday. Hmm it’s my 1.35 day. I really like Thursday. The day I have common breaks with ‘most everyone. So that’s great cos I get to see people around. That and it’s 1.35. The bad part: I have to see Mr Yu. And Miss ooi. The rest is ok. After school was deliberating whether to wait till 3.40 for Alec. Decided that the long trip home would be unbearable without his usual caustic remarks to keep me awake. Ended up playing basketball with Wu, Kai, Joe, Wei Sin, Petrina and Mak. Stupid mak. Always stand there and wait for the ball. Run a bit lah. The exertion won kill u. Managed to sprain my third finger again. It’s the fifth time in 6 basketball games. It’s a curse of some sort man. There’s no way I’ll survive a game unscathed. Then did some zuowen for my Chinese teacher. Who is incidentally chengyi’s auntie. Small world. Was tempted to leave at 3 cos I saw some other people leaving. Managed to stay on. Went home together. Worked.

Friday. Today. Well, I must say that the 4.30 day wasn’t so bad cos it wasn’t even really a 4.30 day. I just skipped PE cos there’s no way I’m going to run in the rain and my third finger’s swelling awfully so I can’t do pull-ups. And Mr Lim wasn’t there. Splendid. Went home with Alec again. He mentioned some word accentual accentuated or something. I’m supposed to check it up. Uh huh nothing groundbreaking or life-altering there.

Haha 2s of the world unite! Zixu, Danny and Chell, my unlikely fellows! For some reason I know many more 2s than I know 1s or 8s. In fact, I don’t know of anyone who is confirmed to be a 1 or an 8. Well. That settles it.

Hmm everyone seems to have an opinion about the Iranian twins incident. Personally, I don’t think they did anything wrong by going for the op. Their blood pressure in the brains were rising sharply anyway and they would have died eventually if they did not try to separate themselves. Instead of resigning to eventual destruction, they chose to take a shot at it. Sadly enough, it failed. Many things in life you have to try for, and you will never get. At least they had the courage to try. At least they know what they want and worked for it. And died for it. Well, if your conviction is as strong as theirs, then you’re going to succeed at whatever you’re doing. Maybe not in the way that you’ve hoped, but in some way unexpected. That’s perhaps the best way.

The time when people appreciate things the most is when they’ve lost them, will never have them, or never expected to have them in the first place.

I guess I should be going to bed soon. After all it is a test tommorow.

You’re my first light of the day come again….








Hey.

I havent had time for frequent updates recently. Too busy. Will do something about it.

We are unable to reconcile moral and practical considerations partly because we are worried that because we have chosen practicality, we in fact do the morally incorrect thing. Both seem to be equally important in a detached sense. Practical considerations ensures our benefit in the material sense, and moral considerations provide a safe and pleasant society and environment for us to live in. However in the end, we have to choose that which we value more, which is a matter of establishing our priorities. However, the very act of prioritising implies that we will have to choose one over the other, and that means that we will not be able to fully reconcile between practicality and morality.

You're my first light of the day come again...





Hey guys and girls,

Just a quick little update before I settle in to the rhythm of school life. Meaning I sleep at 11. Oh wait its already past 10? I'm not going to make it. Struggling with my gp essay. Don't think i can finish a satisfactory job so i'll ask for an extension. This is assuming that my GP teacher remembers I have to finish an essay.


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Well anyway hope i dont receive all my results tommorow. Incidentally I have AO orals tommorow. What the hell. Will reply to all ur messages and posts tmr!

I was lost. And you were found.

You're my first light of the day come again...





Hey guys and girls,

Today’s entry will be a short one. Maybe. I’m still forming thoughts and all so I don’t really know.

Gosh I haven’t had much inspiration to blog the last few days. Must be all the crappy stuff that’s happening that eternally bogs me down into this treacherous mire of depression. Anyway, that aside I guess I’m pretty contented. Every minute might be my last and no minute can last forever. So I guess I’m taking time as it is and not expecting too much of anything. Or so I thought.

My mom blew up like a raging volcano again. I dunno why she keeps blowing up recently. It must be something about the weather. Today’s explosion was like mount Vesuvius. For some reason, she gets it in her head that she wants to use her handphone to send email, and pesters me and my sis to no end about it. We finally decide to try and help her, cos she’s an IT dinosaur and will soon be extinct. It’s hella difficult trying to get her to define what exactly she wants us to help her with cos she doesn’t know any damn tech jargon and mixes up downloading with reading email. Don’t ask me how. After a while we got pissed off cos she obviously didn’t know anything we were talking about and we just told her to do what we said. Unfortunately she took it the wrong way and scolded us for being impatient and wanting to do our own things. Yeah, I admit that DID cross my mind. It’s pretty shitty trying to explain EMAIL to someone for 30 minutes. Anyway my sis rather unwisely started screaming back. Sigh. Arguments ensue, spittle flies and I cringe in fear trying to escape the crossfire of saliva spurting on me from all directions. It didn’t work and my mum starting pulling me into it too. Damnit. Then she threatened to cart my com away cos she thought her com at her office was inferior and ancient. And that’s wrong cos it’s a 1ghz com and the one at home is only 1.4. Ok it’s a better com but I’m pissed off at her anyway cos she tries to make life miserable for everyone cos she’s pissed off. What the hell. And she tinks a com’s processor speed has something to do with the rate at which webpages load. And when we try to explain to her(dad included) that it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with her 1ghz com being slow, she starts shouting again. What the hell la. Anyway my sis and I were having a cold war with her for a while. Then somehow everything became normal again and we helped her out. Huh? Even I’m confused!

Anyway I had a pretty nice breakfast at telok ayer food centre. Its near Chinatown where I go marketing so most ppl will think it’s old and smelly and dirty. Not really. It’s just renovated. I ended up having some obatsu chicken don. Damn nice and its only 3.30. Cheaper and better than yoshinoya plus the guy selling it is quite nice. Dinner was pretty nice too. My uncle gave us a treat again. Damn he’s nice. Hmm I just found out my auntie’s from rgs. My uncle’s from ri. One of my cousins is from ny and I’m from huazhong. Wow. We’re pretty smart.

Hmm I guess I don’t have any plans for tomorrow. There was supposed to be a class outing sometime or rather but somehow the plans never came to fruition and thus what we have is another wasted opportunity. Seriously man I dunno what I was hoping for. A miracle? Probably try to draft if I can get the manpower. Or maybe I’ll mug or play war3. Frozen throne’s pretty fun. The new stuff is incredible, and other than for the fact that the engine’s pretty much the same it’s almost like a completely new game. Blizzard really puts a lot of effort into its expansions. I don’t think there’s ever been a lousy blizzard expansion pack ever. Hmm maybe hellfire Diablo, but that was what 8 years ago? You can see why they won the C&C vs Warcraft struggle. They’re just better and more creative and more creative than Westwood. That and the fact that they actually listen to what their fans think. Not bad right?

Well, was just reading an old article about this book named crabwalk. It’s a book about some maritime catastrophe during world war 2 where this soviet submarine sank a cruise liner killing 6 times the people that died on the Titanic. The thing is most ppl haven’t heard of it cos it happened to be a german cruise liner and the silence of germany was the price they paid for pardon by the rest of the real world. But those ppl were innocent too… are they worth any less than people in say, Britain, for example? That’s why the book is crabwalk. There’s no going forward, only a scuttling movement to the side.

This reminded me of something Xuanyou told me a few weeks back when I was asking him for advice. Guys forgive and forget really easily. As long as there is some apology or understanding, the event almost as good as never happened. On the other hand, girls forgive, but don’t forget. I was wondering whether this was true, but after some reflection, realized that it was something that was all too real. Not that I’m throwing stones at anyone or anything, but it’s just an observation that I had. For some reason my sisters can still remember small little slights to them, but when I rack my brains for some event which they pissed me off, I just cant seem to recall anything. No, it’s not cos they’re angelic. They’ve pissed me off enough times to shorten my lifespan by a decade. I wonder why this is so. Can’t everyone get along better if they forgive and forget everything? And only remember the happy parts? Nah. Then people wouldn’t be real anymore.

Why can people only be real after something bad happens to them and they become embittered or somehow affected by that event. Why can people only be real when they possess cynicism and anger? What is a real person? I wish I knew.

Hmm I don’t think I’m really very pessimistic actually. I don’t even have many feelings towards the stuff I face everyday. Somehow I’ve been conditioned to not be bothered by all the myriad idiocies and ridiculous things going around me so I guess I’m more of a neutral kinda guy. But I do agree that it’s really really easy to get me down for some reason. Or lift me up. Of course, the world being such a shitty place, it so happens that I’m down a lot more than up. And yeah I guess I’m just maintaining the status quo for the moment. I mean we’re friends so we’ll remain that way for now I guess. I don tink I’ll give up with this “fascination”. Its like asking you to give up a piece of ur soul. Sigh maybe slowly it’ll fade away as I grow number and number to everything? That would be sad but by then, I’ll probably have forgotten how to be sad.

Perhaps I'll forget how to be happy, too.

You're the first light of the day come again...