Hey guys and girls.

I’m really sorry I didn’t put in new entries after the block tests like I said I was. Sis was using the com on Thursday, I was so tired yesterday. But today, yes today, I shall write something. Anyway it will be in 2 parts, as per any long entry.

The block test week was absolutely terrible. Nothing much was going on except mugging mugging and more mugging. Oh and a few breaks here and there. Oh wait a break almost every day. Hmm went bowling on Wednesday. Oh yes and yesterday! I came early to school for nothing, then went to bum around with the rest of e 4O guys. I was really having lots of fun. Who can forget the praying mantis dung that alec got a whole load of? OR the two “zong se qing you” ppl, hor, danny and xuanyou. And mike’s curious affinity for getting his cards soaked in water. Ah well. Stupid Mak. Never tell us you going to America! HRMPH! Even DG told us. Hrmph. And you always scold me for not telling you stuff! See la.

Anyway the soccer was good stuff. Even though we got our assed kicked really badly it was kinda fun sloshing around in the rain and water like we’re little kids again. It was really amusing the way Mak was running around with his hands flapping around in the end like he was some penguin waddling around. People who watched Goldmember remember the quote from Dr Evil about “no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl?”. =P. Ya and it was pretty amusing watching kiat do some really weird saves and land on his bum on the wet concrete! Ah! Anyway just like some other depressed people I know, I like rainy mornings. Nice and cool. I like stormy weather. Except when we’re playing soccer. Anyway it was really funny to hear alec complain about not bringing his deck cos his bag was heavy with change. Geez. Bringing a stack of cardboard is NOT going to kill you. I was carrying 3 decks and 3 sets of change in a bag smaller than yours! Doh!!! Sometimes you’re like tofu damnit. You’re going into the army in two years(unlike some people). Don tell your sergeant that you cant carry a stack of cardboard cos ur bag is too heavy!

We kinda headed down to the teacher’s room after that. Finally I get to see more than one of the teachers. I went back twice during the hols and I only saw yang and vix. Ah well at least there was laura and letchem and ooi. And Gweek. It was really amusing to see letchem again. And gweek was entertaining us with her usual sarcastic yet witty comments. Funny how she can be so funny and so dry at the same time. Half the time she doesn’t even mean to be funny. And even Letchmi thinks I should be in arts! Gosh! And then we took this photo. The funny thing is the photo was taken by some teacher, for the consortium. Hmm. Weird. Our juniors two years down the road will be wondering who the hell these people are. I guess being the pioneer batch counts for a lot. There was a lot of blind stumbling and testing of the waters. We got burned/ stung/ mutilated/ destroyed/ annihilated/ nuked etc etc along the way, but I guess I’m really proud that I was always in a pioneer batch for my GEP education. No wonder it’s so shitty now. I get to walk in some other people’s footprints. Instead of walking on and leaving my own. Its like those boot prints you see when people step on wet concrete before it dries. No matter how much you try to remove it you cant unless you hack up the pavement. But all the other mudprints and dirt prints disappear as easily as they come. I guess that’s a little saddening, but then you can’t have everything, right?

Then we headed down to Bukit Timah Market. It was quite a funny place, very nice and cool cos of the rainy weather, and I tell you it’s overflowing in Cai Dao Kueh stalls. I walk in and I see 4 stalls selling cai dao kueh. I turn a corner and see 2 more. Then another two and so on. What the heck?? Well at least it was clean for a hawker centre. I can’t abide really filthy places. Anyway we played magic there. Hahah stupid right? Anyway had a good laugh when alec’s praying mantis thingy happened. HAHAHA I don even know that it could dump. Bad luck pal. And you still wanted to go play FNM? You must be joking.

Anyway I was dead beat after playing all the soccer and mega mugging, so I fell asleep the second I touched the bed. That and the fact that I had stupid CLAO oral today. I hate Chinese. I used to think it was ok, but now it’s a darn chore. I really really didn’t want to drag my sorry arse down to school again today, but seeing as it was an official test, I couldn’t exactly skip it. Mores the pity. Anyway it went fine. The teacher asked me to comment about ppl spitting around during the sars period. Anyway, as I put it to teng soon today, oral’s the only time where people give u marks to bullshit you way through.
After that, went for some bishan action with Kiat. Felt a slight twinge as I sold my angel for 20 bucks. But then again 20 bucks compared to the 6 bucks I paid for it at first is pretty good. Managed to convince Mike to come down today. Yay! Even better, I managed to convince him to not watch Twins Effect. Yes, if you want to watch some hot babes kick some ass, please go watch Charlie’s angels. In fact, that’s the only thing in that movie. So don settle for 2nd best! Hahaha! I got my frozen throne today! Played maybe an hour. Quite fun. Then I walked to HMV and had a dilemma over whether to buy Jewel’s , Michelle Branch’s or Tanya Chua’s new record. I finally decided on Michelle branch since she’s quite cool and the sons she sings are quite identifiable to ppl around our age.

So, the block tests are finally over. I feel totally drained and burnt out. I expect to fail everything except GP. And it’s really shitty cos I really worked bloody hard for it. I spent all my time on chem. And physics, and to a lesser degree econs. I gave up maths to make sure I did well for these 2. CHEM WAS A ROUT. Physics I’m not so sure, but I made a busload of mistakes. Stupid pressure/ time mistakes. Hell. I’m going to take Lec’s advice. Just sleep and don study. I’ll probably do better. Sigh.

You know, I’m real scared that my mum will whack me silly for the dismal abysmal results I got. That day she whacked my sis really bad, cos she got C5 for everything except maths and science, which she managed double A2s. My sis couldn’t go to school the next day. I was very pissed with my mum. She basically whipped my sis. Blood was flowing. Hell. I can still see the marks, and it’s been 3 days. Its inhuman. And she wanted my sis to go to school the next day. She’s insane. She took out all of her anger on my sis and used violence. Just because you can’t do it to your customers is no reason or excuse for you to do it to your own child. It reflects badly on you. And her excuse was cos she was angry. Which pissed me off all the more. Just because you’re angry gives you no right to hit people like that. I’m not going to sit quietly and get whacked even if I screw up because I WORKED LIKE A FAG DAMMIT. AND I’M NOT GOING TO BE AN OUTLET FOR OTHER’S FRUSTRATIONS, NO MATTER HOW JUSTIFIED YOU THINK YOU ARE.






Anyway, now that that’s off my chest, its time for a little bit of introspection. About what mak said about small groups being better. Hey I agree… sometimes it’s really hard to talk to people when they’re in big groups. Anyway I was hanging out with mike cos I really don see much of him nowadays. Was really sad he chose to go to RJ instead of HC. That’s why I chose to go with him and ywee ern I guess. That and I didn’t want to get home too late. And I wanted to catch up on old times. Really old times, so yeah I’m really sorry I didn’t go bum around delifrance with you guys.

Dreams. Well I always felt dreams were kinda prophetic. For some reason, many of the dreams I have somehow come true. By that time, I’ve forgotten that I’ve had such a dream and I’ll just have this awful sense of déjà vu when something happens. Not much use by then usually. So when I have bad dreams I’ll wake up in cold sweat and get really scared that something bad will happen. And the funny thing is I don’t really have many “good” dreams. It certainly doesn’t help when so many books I read always use the outdated dream foreshadowing mechanic. The coolest by far was the dragonlance one, where Weis and Hickman used the brilliant idea of having a dream that was real, and how you can only wake up when you are firmly convinced beyond all doubt that the dream was fake. Too bad that the dream was so real that the real world seemed like a dream. Hmm that gets me thinking about my life. Am I living in a dream? Or perhaps its reality or perhaps reality IS just a dream.

By the way, for those of you who like little animals, I did manage to settle all my little kittens in nice responsible owner’s hands! So they’ll be totally fine! Yay! At least there are some caring people left in the world!

You know what, I’ve always wondered what would happen after I die. Is there an afterlife, where you just float around invisible to the rest of the living world, doomed to an eternity of quiet observation, unable to interact with any living thing, or talk to anyone. That would drive people insane. And you have an eternity to be insane. Maybe u can’t even see other dead people. Or is there a heaven and u’ll enjoy eternal bliss once you enter its gates. Is there such a thing? Humans’ existences are defined by pain and suffering, and somehow I don’t think they can accept perfection. A la the Matrix. Or perhaps there’ll just be nothing. You won’t exist. Poof gone. That will be nice. Somehow it’ll just be like a long dreamless endless sleep which no one can wake you out off. Imagine that.

It’s been about 2 weeks since I met her face to face. That’s really really long man. I’m feeling a wee bit depressed cos it’ll be at least 3 more days before it’s back to school time. Maybe I’ll just go take some proaction. Nah. I probably won’t. Just can’t seem to get the guts to. U know, your guts don’t increase after a period of time, I noticed. It still feels jellylike. I’ve been thinking. If something terrible happened, would I self destruct as Mak said? I might. I probably will. But that has nothing to do with me not being happy. I’m quite happy right now actually. Of course, I could be happier when I get my wish, but I guess I’ll get by on what I have right now…

You’re my first light of the day come again…





Desperately by Michelle Branch

Something about the way you looked at me,
Made me think for a moment
That maybe we were meant to be.
Living our lives separately.
And it's strange cause things change,
But not me wanting you...
So Desperately.

Ohhh, why can't I ignore it.
Yeah, I keep giving in,
But I should know better,
Cause there was something about the way you looked at me.
And it's strange cause things change,
But not me wanting you...
So Desperately.

You came up to me and said "You frustrate me".
Thinking of lines and times where you and I were you and me.
We took our chance out on the street.
And I missed my chance and chances are I won't be coming back to you.
Why can't I ignore it.
I keep giving in but I should know better.
Cause there's something about the way you looked at me.
And it's strange cause things change,
But not me wanting you.
So Desperately...

So desperately...

Ohhh, why can't I ignore it.
Yeah, I keep giving in,
But I should know better.
Cause there was something about the way you looked at me.
And it's strange cause things change,
But not me wanting you.
So desperately...

So desperately...

Back to you it,
It always comes around,
Back to you...





Hello guys and gurls.

My spelling's pretty lousy today huh? Well can't help it. Block test disease.

Gp was quite nice. I managed 5 1/2 pages for my essay. shouldn't have too much problem there. Compre was stupid and I felt i didnt do a really good job but i tink i'll be ok. Econs wasnt too good. May or may not pass. But at least there's a faint trace of hope left.

I can't believe it. After studying like a chao mugger I'm still going to fail chem. So's everyone else, it seems. Life sucks. I didnt even finish the 2nd essay and the bonding diagrams for chem...cos there was no bloody time and I'm sure I've got at least 3-4 qns wrong already. And it's the only subject I really really mugged for! Stupid idiotic moronic imbecilic retarded brain dead mentally impaired chem department! It's 20 percent YOU KNOW!!!! Baka baka baka.

Anyway was so pissed off at the whole thing I went to watch charlie's angels with Mak Weili Lec and Jik. Saw Yeongheng and Weixin at the bus stop. They're not going to do extraordinarily well either. Saw some other familiar faces. No one looks particularly happy. Anyway we got to PS and got 5 11.40 tix. It was a totally stupid and mindless show but after the mental workout in the morning, i don't think I dare to sprain my brain muscles. Anyway stupid and plotless though it was, I can't recall having so much fun watching the show. And cameron diaz is soooo good looking. 100x better than drew barrymore.

Sighz anyway have to try to maths. Playing apprentice with seng choon first.

(deep breath followed by defiant look)

You're my sun and stars...